Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Addendum

I must admit, I did not expect the massive outpouring of support and praise that the initial blog post garnered, and for that I thank all of you; you who have given me the chance to talk to you, to listen to what I had to say, to read these few words that so easily flowed out into the ether. I appreciate it more than you could ever think possible.

Perhaps I might have painted a much too dark image of myself, but that was not my intention. I am a person who's in a state of constant mental motion, my opinion of myself varies wildly depending on so many factors that I cannot even begin to recount. I don't even think I know them all. But, I am at least aware of the fact that all is not as it seems; the bad is not so bad, and the good is never so good. You'll excuse the somewhat mathematical reference, but you learn to 'average out', so to speak. You usually end up with something that is, for lack of a better word, realistic.

Realism is often attached to more negative outlooks with regards to life and the future, and I understand why that's the case, but I do not support it. To me, realism is - as I've mentioned - the average. It's the future's expectations - tempered, not to submission but to cooperation, by life's myriad experiences and learnings.

I will not deny that this is easier said than done (a phrase I consistently loathe); my day is a tumult of good feelings, boredom and disappointment. But, I am piecing together what could be called an understanding of the mechanics of my own life. I might still lack the sense of purpose, the target I ought to aim at..

..but, at least it gives me the chance to learn how to use the bow itself.

Thank you all, once again.

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